In this presentation, you’ll learn:

  • Traps, delusions and illusions that keep us from showing up for life
  • Principles and questions to unlock transformation in your life
  • Why successfully showing up causes success to show up in all of life – including your business
  • Why and how to collect the right people around you to maximize your success

As a Certified Coach, Teacher and Speaker with the John Maxwell Team, Joel is part of a global team of individuals who have been trained and mentored by John C. Maxwell, named by Inc. magazine as the #1 Leadership “Guru” in the world.

LUNCHEON SPONSOR: Paradise Valley Community College

R.S.V.P. online to attend this informational and engaging luncheon. Lunch is included with the price.

For additional information, please contact the Chamber office at 602.482.3344

Location:

Mimi’s Cafe
21001 N. Tatum Blvd.
Phoenix, AZ 85050
UNITED STATES

Contact Person:
Lori Hefner
(phone: (602) 482-3344)
Details:
Schedule of Events:
11:00 -11:30 AM- Registration and networking
11:30 AM.- Lunch and guest speaker presentation
12:45 – 1:00 PM – Closing remarks and door prize drawing

Date: October 18, 2017—October 18, 2017
Time: 11:00 AM
Event: The Secrets of Showing Up
Topic: The Secrets of Showing Up
Public: Public

3 Reasons We Have to “Put Down the Duckie”

Letting go is a good thing if you want to play something new

Put down the duckie

One of my all-time favorite Sesame Street songs is “Put Down the Duckie.” Never heard of it?

Perhaps a little background is required to remind you (or bring you up to speed) of the history of the Rubber Duckie in Sesame Street. “Rubber Duckie” was, after all, Ernie’s signature song, debuting on the very first episode of Sesame Street. A few years later, in 1970, it actually hit #16 in the Billboard top 100. Fifteen years later, Ernie was still singing this tribute to his bath-time pal.

You’d think that after all that time, Ernie would have outgrown his self-indulgent obsession with Rubber Duckie. Obviously, someone on Sesame Street DID think so, and in 1986, Hoots the owl tries to help Ernie with the difficult and painful challenge of growing up – and growing beyond his Rubber Duckie. Ernie’s trouble is that he wants to do something new (play the saxophone), but finds that impossible to do with Rubber Duckie in his hand. The song explains it all. (Go ahead and take a few minutes to listen to it if you can’t remember it!)

Amazingly, you and I have a whole plastic bucket load of Rubber Duckies – relationships, ideas, places, hurts, and hang-ups. Habits that gave us security in the past, but don’t serve us well now. As Hoots says, “you’ll never find the skill you seek till you pay your dues.” Putting down these duckies is essential to developing a meaningful and rewarding life.

Letting go lets us reframe our experience

Part of the security of things we know, of our habits, of our familiar hurts comes from the stories we tell ourselves and others. Have you ever noticed how just about every story you tell about yourself puts you in a good light? Even if I am relating a story about a tragedy, usually I am the innocent victim…the unwilling recipient of forces and actions being done TO me. I’ve often commented that I’ve never heard someone who got fired from a job tell how it was all their own fault. No, the reasons for the firing are usually about the character and actions of co-workers, a manager, or even the evil corporation in total.

We tell stories that way because we have a Rubber Duckie (or two or three) that shames us, embarrasses us, or in some way endangers our being accepted by others (if it were to be exposed). When we can let go of the fear of rejection, we can accept our shortcomings and take responsibility for our failures. Only then can we tell ourselves (and others) stories that frame our experience authentically.

You’ll never find the skill you seek until you pay your dues. Hoots the Owl, Sesame Street

Letting go helps us focus on the present

Even if we start to reframe our experience with more authentic stories, we can still have another lingering Rubber Duckie: we can be stuck in the past. The collective wisdom of sages, songwriters and psychologists is pretty unanimous on this: “Let bygones be bygones.” The past is useful in our stories, but we need to make sure we don’t continue to live in those stories. Letting go, and even forgetting, actually helps us meet the challenges of today more creatively.

Letting go gives us the capacity to receive

This is obvious, but for some reason I certainly need to be reminded. Nothing can get into a closed fist. I have only so much emotional bandwidth. If I’m consuming that nursing grudges, harboring hurts, or keeping the sting of rejection alive – I have no capacity to take in the next experience (whether it is pleasant or painful). I can’t start my dream job if I stay at the current “gets-the-bills-paid-but-I-hate-it-job.” I can’t build new, good habits without knocking down old, unproductive ones.

One notable sage put it this way: “Unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, there won’t be any new wheat growing.” It’s a pattern of life in nature, and it’s a pattern in our lives too: Letting go – letting something die – is usually necessary for something new to come into our life.

So, go ahead. Put down the Duckie. Start by making an honest inventory of ideas, attitudes, fears and triggers that are rooted in the past. Then, begin to replace those with the best things from your present. Start to play something new.

What Duckie should you put down?

Take a few minutes and jot down some of the things that come to mind when you answer ‘What’s my Duckie?’ You can leave a comment by clicking here.

Three Reasons You Should Wander Around

Sometimes it's not aimless

To wander is defined, by Meriam-Webster and by most of us, as “characterised by  aimless, slow or pointless movement.”  We think of wandering as lonely poverty (think of “wandering minstrels” and itinerant preachers, or the activity of men in the mall who are waiting on others who shop.)  If we’re describing more purposeful movement, we use words like “migration” (because ducks and geese and human migrants have a purpose in their movement) or “exploring” (because Cousteau and Hillary and Lewis and Clark had destinations to conquer). Is it always pointless to wander?

How I Learned I Needed to Wander

I’m the kind of person who thinks a lot.  About everything. Constantly.

When friends tell me (as they often do) “Don’t think so much…”,  my reply is usually something like: “Don’t assume it took very much of my time to come up with that…”  (as if “a lot of thinking” really equals “a lot of time spent thinking”.  The truth is, a tremendous amount of brain activity goes on in just a few microseconds.

I doubt that time spent is the point of those making the comment.  Instead, I think they were referring to my “monkey mind” — incessant brain activity that jumps from branch to branch, constantly chattering away with internal (and sometimes external) commentary about how things are, how they should be, what they could be, what they aren’t.

It wasn’t until I was invited to participate in a “Day of Wandering” that I realized just how incessant my thinking activity is, and just how much that keeps me from actually experiencing people and situations around me. That day I spent about 6 hours by myself walking the Mogollon Rim.

During the first five hours, my mind was actively plotting, planning, evaluating, deciding — which way to go, what process to use to quiet my mind, how to measure my success…and on, and on, and on.  Finally, in the sixth hour, I sat and closed my eyes and just listened, and increasingly found myself not evaluating.

After that, I was able to walk in a way that I can confidently call wandering:  I did not choose a path or a destination; I simply walked.  The result?  I experienced the world around me with a new appreciation, a new depth and a new connection that felt vaguely familiar to me.

Wandering re-establishes the original harmony which once existed between man and the universe. –Anatole France

Continue Reading »

Falling Upward: Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life (Jossey-Bass, 2011)

It may not surprise you if I say that this book has been seminal in my life. It has shaped the direction my spiritual growth has taken.

In this book, author, speaker and spiritual leader Richard Rohr describes the working of grace in each of our lives — and how that work results in growth.

Rohr uses the Jungian concept of the “two halves of life” to describe our life-long spiritual and developmental journey.  “There are two major tasks, ” said Rohr in an Amazon interview. “In the first half [of life] you’ve got to find your identity, your significance. You create your ego boundaries. You create your ego structure It’s  what I call “the creating of the container.” But that’s just to get you started. In the second half of life, once you’ve created your ego structure, you finally have the courage to ask: What is this all for? What am I supposed to do with this? Is it just to protect it, to promote it, to defend it? Is there some deeper purpose? The search for meaning is the task of the second half of life.”

Rohr clarifies that the first/second half of lie is not about counting years, but rather about a shift in purpose.  It’s a shift often created and marked by crisis and “initiation.”  What is this crisis?  “You normally have to fail through some form of transgression or humiliation or defeat (the necessary suffering). Then you can look to some elders, some wiser people who know how to guide you across the transition and into the second half of life. ”

“There is a necessary falling that comes into every life, ” says Rohr. “It’s not like you have to manufacture or create the falling; it will happen. If you can find grace or freedom in and through that falling, you find that it moves you forward, upward, broader, deeper, better—to spiritual growth. That’s just the opposite of what you first think when you fall, fail, or lose.”

In Falling Upward Rohr provides exactly that kind of guidance, showing how the way up is down.

Read this book if you you’re looking to clarify your purpose and place in the world.